About the respect and love of children to parents
When the child is small, he doesn’t do any work. About his food, clothing and the like concerned parents. Parents help their child with love. The child does not work — he can do only a little job around the house. But how this work compares with the work or the costs that parents do it for him? If, as an adult, the child does not understand what his parents gave him, it is a great ingratitude.
Before parents punish the child’s physical, and he took corporal punishment without thoughts [resentment]. Often he doesn’t even know what hit them. But the children of today — this is one big “why and what for?”. One continuous wrangling. They lack simplicity. Everything they are subjected to judgment and evaluation. But the divine Grace in this way does not come. If the child does not feel his father’s father and does not accept his father’s punishment, he — illegal child. Some children, only parents to make them a little note, immediately begin to threaten: “I’ll slit my wrists!” And what can parents do? They are inferior, and ultimately children deteriorate and die.
The child must understand that if sometimes parents and give him a kick, we’re not doing this in malice, but in love — to he improved, got better, and later rejoiced. We, being young, took everything and parental affection, and parental slaps, kisses and parent. We understand that all parents did this for our benefit. We had to [our parents] great confidence. Sometimes, and this happened: something was to blame for one brother and the mother scolded the other, because she did not have time to conduct a “trial”. However guilty, seeing that he has gone to another — innocent, confessed his fault, because he was convicted conscience. And so the guilty brother or sister got an excuse.
The youngest in the family need to have respect and to the parents and to the elders [brothers and sisters]. Junior should feel respect, obedience and gratitude to the senior necessity. Seniors, in turn, must feed the younger love, help and protect them. When the younger respects the elder, and the elder loves the younger, a great family atmosphere. My father told us: “Give obedience to your big brother.” We know that the father loves us all, and behaved with him very freely. But the elder brother, not finding in it a father’s love, we have more obedience .
When the couple respect each other, and the children respect their parents, then the family life is going smoothly, like a clock. In this family, the eldest son never to tell my mother something like “look, mother, that you will not do this” or “why did you do all topsy-turvy?” But in this family the father is talking to his mother like that. An adult can joke with the child, so to please him, but the child, feeling the joy from jokes adult, should not behave with him brusque and unceremonious. When I was in the monastery Stomion and sometimes descended from the monastery into the city for shopping, one kid, whose house stood on the road, ran up to me when he sees me, and I kissed him to handle. Then he got used to it and, running up to me, he held out his hand for me to kiss her! I did what he wanted. But then his parents asked: “father, don’t need to kiss his hand, because he runs for the priests, extends to them his hand to kiss, and if they do not, starts crying”.
How children love parents after they create their own family
Gracious God has ordained that the husband and wife communicate with each other such love, that leave even their parents. If this love was not, then people would not be able to create my own family. The task of parents is over as soon as their children create their own family [or monks]. After this, the children have parents only [two things]: huge respect and so much love, how much to feed to their parents. I don’t want to say that husband and wife should love their parents. No. But first they have to have a great love between you and [only] then to love their parents. Spouses should love each other so much that their love was pouring over the edge. And already from this preissiana conjugal love they have to give their parents all the respect and all the credit. Love of the spouses must be a noble, so that each spouse as much cared about the parents of the other spouse.
To family peace and harmony, it will help this: the husband must love his wife more than his mother more than anyone else from their family and friends. Love the wife’s parents should flow through his wife. Of course, a wife should behave the same.
I know families in which at the beginning of married life the husband and wife had problems, disagreement, because one of the spouses loved my mother excessive love. This love starts from the take pride in your work, who have a son or daughter caring for her mother great thanks. But slowly, when the spouses are bound to one another, this problem disappears. After all, if immediately after marriage one spouse gave the other the kind of love that made up for the love of the parent, it would be unnatural.
If the husband respects the wife’s mother and father, it does him honor, as well as sister-in-law makes honor respect and love to mother in law — the woman who brought her husband, raised him, and now he — her husband and her joy. If the husband and wife have similar feelings and these thoughts, all this quietly instructs the souls of their own children.
Mother married to son found his love of great consolation. But the old men become babies. Marrying his son, a mother feels as she feels the eldest child, seeing in the other arms of her mother — newly born baby. See: if people do not cut their passions in youth, with age the power of his will weakens and passion will become stronger. However, the daughter-in-law should not be offended by that. And if she still cares for her elderly mother-in-law, let will suffer a little, so as not to lose the wages that accrued to her for the care that she provides. Now if she’s with patient care to mother-in-law, then later, when all sorrow will be over, she will rejoice in the good that did.
But, of course, and mother-in-law should love their daughters-in-law as her own daughters. My grandmother on my father loved my mother stronger than my father. When he married my brothers, neighbor shook their heads and frightened my mother: “Well, it will bring little fiancée. “And the mother answered them: “Why do you say that? Me my mother in law loved more than my daughter. So why do I not love my daughters-in-law?” And indeed, she too loved them as daughters.