Articles about education, development and health of children.

Children’s and adult psychologists for many years engaged in the study of the influence roditelskogo education on the lives of children. A direct causal link between parents ‘ and children’s behavior can be difficult to install. Often found that in different circumstances grow people with similar personal characteristics, and in the same family can grow strikingly different children.

Anyway, many traits of an adult is laid in his childhood, and depend on a huge number of factors, including individual characteristics of the child, society, popular culture and so on. In the so-called “pure” parenting techniques are not used, and in the same family can often use techniques from different methods.

Basic parenting styles

Authoritarian style

The style is characterized by high expectations of parents regarding their children. Children must follow strict rules unquestioningly, punishment is used often and they are rarely distinguished from the discipline. The usual explanation of the parent requirements: “Because I said so (a)”. Love, respect and warm relationships to children in an authoritarian family to wait for a difficult choice, ranging from toys to their future profession, children are not invited, everything is decided for them in advance.

Especially people who have grown up in a family of authoritarian parents:

– As a rule, they believe that love can be earned only by his success

They bind and do not always distinguish between love and obedience

– Many difficulties in communication

– Low self-esteem (in some cases overly so – called compensatory behavior).

In the work of these people – the perfect performers, although without permanent supervision not always work.

Authoritative style

Against children again, there are strict guidelines, but the method is much more democratic. For violations of the rules children are not punished. Parents do not treat children as equals, but, while maintaining its authority, willing to listen to them and offer to give your opinion on important issues.

Children who grew up in a family with this type of education, as a rule, know how to control and regulate their emotions, have good social skills and self-discipline, self-confident, capable of independent action.

Many experts believe this method of education is the most effective.

Permissive style

In this model, education for children must meet the minimum requirements. Rules if they exist are inconsistent and often change. Love for children is manifested openly, parents and children are to a greater extent friends. To persuade the child to do something, can be used such incentives as toys, sweets, and so on.

Especially people whose parents primely authorizing method of education:

– Weak self-discipline

– In some cases, poor social skills

– A feeling of uncertainty because of the lack of restrictions and guidelines.

There is evidence that permissive parenting may be associated with early alcohol use: children whose parents have very little control over their behaviour, three times more likely to begin regular drinking in adolescence, these children also often take drugs and engage in criminal activity.

Perhaps this method of education and convenient for both parents and children, poor ability to self-control can be a huge problem for an adult.

Neither parent wants their child harm. Each pursues a goal – to form a harmonic Mature personality, and objective methods of parenting is to help them. Knowledge of child psychology, methods of education are of great assistance to the parents in the educational process.

Examples of the basic techniques and methods of education

Method conversation or beliefs. Old and time-proven method, which essentially consists in the explanation and enforcement of the arguments by the parent in favor of the need for proper behavior in a given situation, plus the clarification of the motives of behavior of the child. The conversation must be conducted in a calm, confident, firm tone of speech of the parent should help the child understand and comprehend their behavior, actions, and make appropriate conclusions.

Method positive or negative reinforcement, the so-called “carrot and stick”. Positive reinforcement-praise, gratitude, positive response from the adult (to buy a new toy, allow favorite child activity – to watch cartoons, play with friends, etc.).

Negative – that the remarks punishment. For example, a reproach – “did You do bad, you made me sad this act…”, comment – “Such an act is considered bad, good children shouldn’t do that…”, punishment – a kind of timeout in the relationship, the baby in a short time deny communication. The child realizes that he has done wrong and been punished for it. Note that not as a punishment to apply those actions that a child must be done with desire and enter it into a habit – reading, writing, cleaning. Otherwise it will lead to the fact that the child will perceive these processes as unpleasant and constantly to avoid execution.

Method “one-two-three”. Method is applied in case of negative behavior in children older than two years. Does the parent comment suggests to stop the bad behavior for a period of time until he will count to three (with an interval in the account to a few seconds). The voice should be clear, confident, calm, otherwise the child may decide that he will get them one way or another.

In case of refusal to give up bad behavior – should be punished.

Method “out of the debate”. The method consists in preventing disputes which may arise in the process of nomination by a parent of the requirements of the child. That is, if a child brings a lot of excuses in the event of a claim, the parent loses time, responding to excuses, and not achieving their goal. It looks like this:

– Get dressed, time to go to kindergarten!

– I don’t want to go to kindergarten!

– I should go, I’m late for work!

– I want to stay with you at home!

‘I can’t stay, I have work, etc.

Not allowing for debate, dialogue looks like this:

– Get dressed, time to go to kindergarten!

– I don’t want to go to kindergarten!

– You need to dress up and go!

– I want to stay with you at home!

– Get dressed and go!

If the parent ceases to engage in explanation, the child will be convinced of the futility excuses and start to do what you need.

The most inefficient and undesirable is the method of physical action (Lasher, cuffs, etc.). The most traumatic method for the formation of personality.

The best methods of education are psychological contact with the child and humane ways of influencing it.

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