Features of education girls
The girl should be quiet, economical and accurate, its merits – a docile and gentle nature, and the main objective – to marry well, become a model housewife and have children. And this is not a description of the methods of education of the Middle ages – this Patriarchal realities of modern Ukraine, where the girls forget to tell that they’re individuals and can build your life, career and family, not being dependent on men. Therapist of Leonid Semakov believes that in this way one of the girls raise free staff.
The middle ages in 2012
When I was preparing for an interview on this topic, to be honest, I doubt that the problem of educating girls in a Patriarchal style now just as relevant as, for example, 30 years ago. But was unpleasantly surprised to find many tips for raising girls frankly humiliating display. For example, how about this: “Educating a girl can do without such approvals as “good”, “well done”, “clever”. Such words of encouragement of a girl forced to be like the boy and strive to achieve success, to obtain the approval. But this will not make her happy. Many women incorrectly educated, strive for achievement, a career, a great income, but feel even more marginalized and deprived of love”? The mind boggles that the desire for achievement is considered to be improper upbringing in 2012!
One of the girls raise zombie
If the girl is taught that she is wealthy only with a man that her main goal – to find the Prince and then she will be happy, it is a direct path to disappointment over the whole of its life. In addition to the role of the wife, other roles for the daughter of parents do not see. In the end these girls are more likely than others to enter into hasty marriages, are dependent on men and much heavier are experiencing divorce. Moreover, this setting prevents the girl to discover their talents and abilities. But what good is that if the main thing in life – to have a husband!
Affectionate cat in the kruzhavchiki
Common social stereotype demands that the woman was always gentle and obedient. Girl strictly punished for fighting, she was not allowed to play boy’s games and toys. Daughters even later and less hunting than the boys, give the desired bike .
Actually the manifestation of traits that are traditionally referred to as male, the girl is largely due to the temperament and individual personality characteristics. Small razboinitsei often hyperactive girls who like to attract attention to himself, such an inquisitive and restless girls grow up to be great leaders.
Why should girls be quiet, obedient and submissive? Because they have to obey the husband? And why do they actually have to obey? It makes more sense to raise a little girl so that she developed the ability to be critical and to Express disagreement and the ability to make decisions independently that she was ready to stand up for themselves and their rights, if necessary. Girls, which was trained from childhood to the role of submissive creatures that grow up to be women who suffer for years of psychological and physical discomfort, unable to change something. These girls have become wives of alcoholics, suffer physical abuse, her husband’s infidelity.
No sane person can’t always be kind, gentle and never aggressive or angry.
The cleaning lady from the cradle
In many families, the baby almost from infancy “taught to help around the house”. And this is not a game and not learning self-help skills, and serious, often excessive burden. Often, for 5-6-year-old baby is exclusively cleaning the apartment, washing dishes, not to mention younger brothers and sisters. The pedagogical effect of this “education” is practically zero. Sensitive girl with a weak character will submit to the will of his parents and believes that it has its place – in the kitchen. The girl is strong and determined at the earliest opportunity oppose parental dictatorship and start building their independent life in spite of parental “recipes”.
Many parents set her daughter: “Only the neatness, cleanliness and comforts of home to create a real woman. You’re a girl, so should…” Is that my daughter lost all desire to belong to the female gender. No one says to the boy: “You have to wash and iron things of his future wife to do the cleaning, cook, wash dishes”. And then it turns out that the man comes home from work and gets to the TV, because he was tired, and the woman cooks and sweeps, because she’s a woman and needs.
The reverse of the medal
There is also the opposite problem of too advanced and modern parents. They since the childhood the girl that there is nothing to hang with the boys and spending time in the obscure companies should all spare time was devoted to study, because the main thing in life – knowledge.
It is absolutely not taken into account that for the normal development of the girl must not only get a certain set of skills, but also learn how to be a woman, to build a relationship with the opposite sex. In the end, the girl is confused, telling her that the main thing in a man – not the appearance, but the mind and soul that fashionably dressed only those who have nothing better to brag about. Fear of early marriage, the mother sought to instill daughter aversion to the opposite sex, fear of sex life. In the end, “smart girl” in a modest dress and with strict hairstyle with its never-sleeping under my mother’s eye brilliantly graduated from school, College, graduate school. And does not know how to dress well, to communicate with men, make-up and conversation. The girl runs the risk of forever being alone.
So do not go too far, explain to the child that the girl should be smart and well-groomed, and that reading books does not prevent a visit to discos and Dating. People should grow in harmony of body and soul.
How to live further?
Parents who want to help their children to better exercise their natural inclination and opportunity, we should get rid of gender stereotypes.
For example: boys – more able mathematicians. What will need to have a talented girl to keep interest in the beloved object? Because from early childhood, all she hears from adults: “Girls in mathematics heights do not reach”. Wittingly or unwittingly taught that mathematics – not girlish pastime. The result is logical: very few girls are interested in this subject and then elect the profession associated with it.
And so not only with math. When one of the girls shows entrepreneurial tendencies and abilities, the reactions of others rather disapproving: someone surprised anyone is shocked.
Of course, natural psychical organization of boys and girls differ. This is confirmed by neurophysiological studies. Information about this can be gleaned from popular literature. But the General ability of the child, the degree of creative talent, social success depend much more on individual and not on sex differences. And not always the girl can fully realize their natural abilities because of inflexible educational attitudes and social stereotypes.
This does not mean that you have exactly the same to educate girls and boys. It is very important that at the time the child is aware of itself as the representative of her sex. But in any case it is impossible to raise one of the girls creatures the second grade, intended only to complement to the man.
If you are not convinced all the aforementioned arguments, remember that four of marriage has three divorces and not enough remained of the men who are willing to live a life of monogamy. So your daughter, brought up as an application to male, can be a application to emptiness and bleak life.