How to overcome the dependence of the child from computer games
Often watching as a child addicted to a computer game, parents are sounding the alarm and wonder, will affect whether computer games negatively on the psyche of a teenager? Are they able to cause computer addiction? Whether it is necessary to forbid the child to play? The situation clarifies psychologist Julia Donets.
– Julia, you have about 7 years in private practice. How often do you turn to parents with the problem of computer addiction in the child?
– Any addiction – it is the escape of a person from solutions to life’s challenges that he faced. Actually appeals to psychotherapists with symptoms of computer addiction can be counted on the fingers. According to statistics, in the face of serious difficulties, children and adolescents are more likely to resort to alcohol and drugs, and not the computer.
– Why alcohol and drugs remain in first place in solving teenage problems?
The alcohol helps the teenager to return to an earlier stage of development in which he couldn’t care less about me, and he has a right not to be responsible for anything in his life, shifting responsibility to others. The computer gives the same level of regression, which is called alcohol and drugs.
– Does the parent that if the child is constantly playing war games, guns, shooting, blood – this will adversely affect him? From some moms say: “now he’s shooting people in a computer game, then come out and start killing right in the street”.
– No, such a clear connection, as suggested by these mothers, do not exist. On the contrary, if the child has a place where he can Express his aggression, he is unlikely to start killing people on the street. In this example, I’d rather see the error of moms in the perception of the son. She, apparently, there is a stereotype that “the boy is supposed to be quiet, obedient and not to cry”. But the boys ‘ nature is – they want to play voynushki. Which is good, of course, if it does not come at the expense of real practice.
– Computer games help a child to cope with the negativity?
– To some extent – Yes. This happens unconsciously and parents as well as teachers should be careful when they take the child gadget or forbid to play it. Now the gadget is embedded in the system of relationship of the child with the world. For the child it – live and is a continuation of himself. Therefore, if the school the student pick up the phone or tablet, and he’s crying and outraged, then it happens for real. It it hurts. Teachers often don’t understand it: “I just had to pick up the phone, as it was played during the lesson”. But most likely, the baby felt uncomfortable and found her way to cope through the game.
– If you want your child’s favorite game is not worth it, what should parents do who see that the child has thrown a real occupation and most of time spends at the computer?
– Parents will be useful to play with the kids in these games. To feel for yourself how it can tighten and how they (parents) will cope. You can try to discuss the game with the child. Aerobatics parent, if he remembers the heroes of the game, you’ll see a meaning in it, will be able to transfer it in real life (to personalize or family, through their actions, to make any conclusions about what gave him the game) and teach it to the child.
If the action makes no sense – we play just to play, it is a kind of inflation of invested effort. Man wants something – to play, to score points and reach the end of the game, but why? What is the outcome? What’s the point? He did not understand.
– There are educational computer games for children aged up to five years old. Is it worth it to buy them for a child’s development?
– If the mother teaches the child the alphabet using a cool computer program (such as now), but it is not dealing with it in real life: not reading, not writing letters, then it is too virtual and in the future may adversely affect the learning process.
Why does that happen?
– The fact that a child up to seven years does not see a strong difference between reality and fantasy. And he needs to face the real things that are experiencing setbacks or moments when he realizes that something is not what it needs to make an effort to do something. So if you’re using a computer game development, preferably back it up with real actions. The most common game with peers or parents – is a great development for the baby.
– How then to treat educational computer games?
Parents, first, have to distinguish between educational games and primitive. So, for example, if they constantly give the kid a gadget to distract his attention, which he played in the “unwinding toilet paper”, they do not develop the child’s or his or her motor skills, but rather sent to the early stages of development.
Parents need to know that all computer games (be they primitive or intelligent) – this is primarily entertainment that train, but do not help in the development of the emotional sphere. Only real interactions and play between a child and an adult gives a chance for harmonious development and intelligence, and emotions.
– Social networks can also be considered as an exciting game. And the students in it “stick”. Should parents be wary of this?
– If a child is important to create your social network account, forbid him not worth it. The task of a parent – help a child find meaning in his actions: what the child wants to register on the network? He wants to get on virtual communication? And what is the result?
I have a personal example. As soon as I came to work in the school, the children began to ask me “friends”. Before add, I have just removed from your page all the working information. It turned out, the social network was for students good place for emotional expression. Someone bad and he puts 350 pictures about how it is bad. Someone soul sings, and he’s in the excitation posting a lot of funny pictures. But the social network did not help them to overcome these emotions. The social network did not give them knowledge about what to do when “bad and nothing works”, or what to do when “good and life is beautiful”? How to interact with these emotions, the child may show only a real person. Ideally, the parents, and maybe, coach, teacher, psychologist or priest.
In conclusion I will add that becoming a little more Mature (for a year or two), my school’s online friends just stopped being in the Network. They had no time, because they had real duties and responsibilities – its full and fascinating life.