If the greedy baby
And the child is only growing. And this behavior – this is the next stage of maturation, during which he will realize that there is a his and others that such generosity and greed. The kid defines the boundaries of its “I” and everything that falls under the definition of “Mine” is a continuation of his person, and accordingly belongs unconditionally to him.
Let us understand how better to do and what you need to do in order not to raise a selfish and greedy man.
Has the right not to share
Baby, though small, but personality. And he is quite right not to share what he is presented with personally. For him toys, things that you have mentioned as his personal – it is very dear to his little heart treasures. And now imagine the horror he experiences whenever he is forced to share? It is forced to – I specifically used that word. It’s one thing when a child gives itself, another thing, when under the pressure of parental authority we force the child.
Greed – it is a kind of attempt to defend their right to something when the other person in this country. And if the child all the time to make – you are guaranteed to shape it. Believe me, the mere possession of the treasure – it’s boring. And baby it’ll eventually understand how and what to play in the company of someone much more fun.
We will learn to share
To years old toddler does not want to share her mom, then among the most important values is favorite toy. Surely, you, dear parents, have a favorite Teddy bear, doll, causing a burst of gentle and warm memories from childhood? And it is absolutely normal because the growing baby is developing normal attachment to things and people.
When the kid reaches kindergarten age and into the team – it will find many new discoveries, including the fact that the toys can be “strangers”. And easy to play them they should either ask, or offer equivalent exchange. It is important that the baby, growing up, was ready for this.
As an option to prepare for the exchange without tears can act the game ’s me and I”. Have a year or two the child may participate in this educational dramatization. At the same time you will acquaint him with the magic words “Give me”, “Can I get” and “Thank you”. Don’t expect much from him, if the baby does not share any toys – it means that they are especially dear to him and in the process of game-sharing is better not to use.
Alas, like us, the parents did not want – full of the desire to share comes to only child closer to school. While the kid is either going to do it, because they’re telling parents or himself in a good mood, and he is willing to share. But this does not mean that you can do as parents is let things take their course. Patiently tell the child, explain that to share – that’s great, start with yourself, first. For example, when you share sweets – share them equally at all. And even if you right now don’t want candy, set them aside. Do not give the baby his part with the words: «Oh, I don’t want it, overeat, etc.” the little one will believe your word, and subsequently will no longer consider it necessary to share with you – you do not want it.
In my memory is an episode from the pre-school life. What I haven’t shared with her mother – I don’t remember, but I remember the words of the grandmother, who was present thus: ‘why haven’t you shared with mom? Since my mom loves it too”. And I truly did not understand that I made the remark – because I remember that mom almost always gave their part, say orange, with the words “No love – better to eat you”.
By the way, while preparing the material, I read one of ways of struggle with greed: initially, all the toys belong to my mother. Explain: until the baby is ready to care for your toys, put them in their place after the game – they are all mom’s. And then, according to psychologists, when you have guests come to the same kids, shouting “My” and “give” should not be, because the owner of the toys who clearly divide the machine, who is the designer and who is the doll. Actually, the grain of the correctness of this is: a kid on the example of a mother learning to share with other children and when he becomes older, he will already have formed an idea of what it means to share and be generous.
Another version is: the baby is easier to share what he has in large numbers. That is, if he’s got a lot of candy – it is easy enough to share with others, as well as toys. And here I also agree.
Learn generosity together
The best teachers for our children – it is we ourselves. And their behavior – it is a mirror of us, only in a small projection. So don’t be surprised if the child behaves like something is wrong – look at their behavior and try to correct their mistakes.
To teach the child to share toys and all other treasures – don’t force him to do so. If for you personally, this subject is just a toy, for baby it can be of great value. So you should respect his right to own and promote the ability to share.
Another mistake – to snatch a toy from the hands of a child. If there is a question about the safety of the baby – there is not even discussed, but if there was no danger, it is necessary, as the use of force is absolutely out of place. Will be taken out of the hands forcefully – the child will do in relation to their fellows. The rule of the mirror, remember?
If the kids fight over toys – try to help them resolve the dispute, will play the role of a judge. Let them agree on how to proceed with the matter or offer their own solutions to the dispute. But to intervene when the fight grows restless and toddlers ready to fight.
When your child is someone hurt on the Playground, took away the toy or pushed – ask forgiveness for their child. Thus show you how to behave in this situation and serves a great example to your child. Remember that kindness and generosity through punishment, prohibitions and, especially, spanking doesn’t teach!
Be sure to praise your baby, if he shares – no matter what it will be a tiny piece of biscuit or designer. The main thing that you will fix his concept: to share – it’s great! But don’t forget that he shouldn’t do, all
only on request!
Let your toddler age up to about three years to assert their right to full ownership of toys. While he forms his ability to stand up for themselves and for their things – not interfere without reason.
It is very important that the kid in the family was a member of the family, but not the center of the Universe or a tyrant. For this he just need your warmth, love, care and interest in him. If a baby will be enough of you and your attention – he doesn’t have to bully you to regain a little bit of mom or dad.
The therapy, which can be used to defeat all kinds of situations with the ability to share – a great way to teach kids generosity. And don’t forget that all originally comes from the family. If your house is not customary to share, to engage each other, to show love and concern – and how can the baby be generous and kind?
In fact, to teach a child to share toys and Goodies – does not mean that you have already acquired are not greedy and kind person. After all, in essence, generosity – it’s not just the ability to share, but also the desire to do it. If you, dear parents, show their generosity of spirit towards each other, their family and friends, getting joy from it, and your kid will definitely grow up to be emotionally generous and kind person.
Correct us all of the decisions in the upbringing of our children!