Styles of child rearing.
Raising children can be different, because there are so many different styles of parenting recognized and not quite. Most often we bring up our children in the same spirit in which we were educated in the family parents. When they become parents themselves, and knowing about all the shortcomings in their education, we are like puppets, we repeat the same mistakes on their own children. Look at these most common styles of parenting, you may recognize in this list your family archetype.
You’d think people who were brought up by liberal parents, absolutely happy. Who wouldn’t want to have parents who can’t sleep tonight as long as you wish, and in the morning, on the contrary, to sleep it off before dinner; go to any parties and events without even asking when the baby will come back; they don’t even mind guys stay in your room and never come to your office without knocking. Alas, people who grew up in such families the lucky ones yourself do not. The problem is that children need boundaries, if not to give them guidelines of what is permitted and not permitted, they become overly spoiled and often don’t know at what point should stop. Talking with a friend who grew up in such a family, I realized that many of the mistakes of his reckless youth she blames her parents, believing that if they were stricter, she managed to avoid many problems.
At the opposite pole of the educational tactics is a strict style of parenting, when parents try to control absolutely every aspect of the lives of their children. In such families are irreconcilable struggle against any attempts at individuality and the slightest volomike. Parents have good intentions should not miss the children, to keep control over them, to be aware of all possible problems and protect from all hypothetical errors. The only method of discipline is punishment and censure. For children this atmosphere is extremely difficult and uncomfortable. In the best case in this family will grow up to be little rebels, who will rebel against any pressure from above, in a less favorable outcome – children will learn to subtly lie and Dodge, just to put parental controls in the wrong direction or slightly weaken it. And the most unfavorable option for children – broken character, crumpled the will, intimidated, sederhana creature that more than anything, afraid to make a mistake.
Very common parenting style in recent times. Supermama believe that their children should study every hour of their waking hours, they put them in all kinds of clubs and educational groups. I have seen children who are so busy schedule that sleep they had in a taxi, on the way to morning swim practice, on a Park bench, waiting for the music teacher, in the hallway of the school, during breaks between lessons. Of course, parents should encourage their children to develop and gain new knowledge and skills, but there are limitations – children need time to play and have fun, and most importantly – to sleep and eat. Observe moderation, do not overload children.
This is possibly one of the most annoying styles of parenting, allowing children to grow, to grow, to become independent. Parents who adhere to this style, completely paralyze the will of the children care and teach life continuously. Ubiquitous care and the desire of parents to do everything for the child, to protect him from the possible and impossible problems in life, make him completely unsuitable to the life of a hothouse plant. The dialogue between children and parents is not possible. Even when children become adults and have children themselves, they’ll still be tutored and trained by their parents. The process of education will never stop. They will continue to learn how to live, what to do, what becomes of how to raise their children, how to deal with your partner. In this model parents are hostages of a situation when they are unable to get rid of a mother or a father and live an independent life.
This style is a variation of strict parenting styles, with a touch of power, when the entire educational process is based on rules and laws. Parents say: “I make the rules and you, children, have to fulfill them”. For any breach of the rules should be punished. Often the rules are too hard for children, disturbances and protests are inevitable. The atmosphere in this family resembles a penal colony, is it any wonder that in such families grow up notorious violators of social norms and rebels.
Some parents use work as an excuse to stay away from participation in the lives of children. They are too busy with their own problems to even be interested and to address the concerns of the child. These parents are hiding behind the phrase: “We want the child to grow up more independent”, they really just want to be left alone. Looking at these families, sometimes wonder why they decided to have children, if you give them so little time. Emotional coldness and detachment of the parents affect the children’s perception of family and relations, as such. Children grow sullen, closed people who are prone to antisocial behavior.
There is no doubt that being a parent is hard and tiring sometimes. But still so frustrating to see parents shouting at their children, as if they have absolutely no patience. They raise their voice for any occasion and easily pass the Creek. Is it any wonder that in response to a tantrum parents, the children themselves organize such concerts, and, often publicly. If you don’t have the patience or ability to calmly explain to the child their requirements or standards of conduct in public places, why are you having babies? Unfortunately, such parents in the Arsenal are only one method of parenting Creek are increasingly common.
Despite all those nasty kinks in the upbringing of children, most parents still manage to raise decent people. This happens to a greater degree, through personal example, as well as set benchmarks “possible and impossible”. Of course, parenting is a tough job, especially because children are not born with instruction manuals at the time of birth of the child your teaching experience is zero. Well, this is just another reason to carefully study the pedagogical literature in search of the perfect parenting style. However, teachers say that he doesn’t exist. The perfect style is skillful, very delicate instrument selected by the speck of all styles, carefully sharpened by the individual character of the child, generously laced with parental love and affection. You want to raise a beautiful child? Give him the minimum and maximum attention. And remember, dear parents: love cannot be spoiled.