What we need parents

Any person who is engaged in personal growth or spiritual development, is faced with the question of the relationship with parents. It appears to be happy and live life to the fullest, you first need to resolve this issue. The Scriptures teach that it is impossible to achieve any success in spiritual life, having a bad relationship with their parents. In Orthodoxy, for example, even has a separate commandment concerning this issue: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12) .

I have a complicated relationship with her mother, a very different Outlook on life. So I was wondering what we have to their parents . and what is not. This really interesting information I found. She has placed all points over i, I became clear about my responsibilities as a daughter, to parents. What we have to their parents, and what is not required?

To recognize their parents. This means to say that these people are my mom and dad. Even if one or both left me and didn’t raise. Even if one of them we don’t know. In any case, this man or woman is our parent. The Lord gave us life through this man. It means that there is a deeper meaning, which we may foolishly be understood not yet in force. To take them. Accepting means to stop build the illusion that I could be other parents. What my parents could give me more than they gave. That my parents might be other people or to do otherwise. I can remake or change now their parents. To take to mean to stop fighting with them. Say to yourself: “Yes! My parents are! They have no obligation to justify my expectations or give something that I expect from them! They’re just my parents!”. To respect their parents. To respect means to treat them as people. To understand that they are individuals and do not have to be what we want to see them. To accept that they have a choice to watch or not to watch TV, to drink or not to drink vodka, to be treated or not to Lelchitsy. They are adults and responsible for themselves. We must respect their point of view, their choice, their own. Let us treat parents the way we would want our children treated us in old age! Because it is unknown how we will behave and get weird when we stand in their place. To be grateful for whatever we were given. And they gave us the most precious thing – LIFE! May be nothing, but it’s very much! The ability to breathe, to see the world, to feel, to change, to love… Every parent wants to give their child the most that can be. Look at yourself and your children if you have them! Isn’t that right? All parents are acting in good faith. Even if they are wrong. Because we are not right, and, God willing, our children then and forgave us of our sins and mistakes! To morally and financially: to call them more often, just to listen to what they say, what we are trying to teach. After all, maybe they can not otherwise Express your love! When there is an opportunity to visit them, to give gifts, to bring food, just donations to help. All the powers!

Why are we not obliged to do:

Love them . Maybe for someone it will be weird to hear, but we don’t have to love parents. If you love your parents – that’s fine, continue in the same spirit. But there are painful situations when a child cannot feel the love of a parent. This the Lord does not require from us. The devices listed above will be enough to fulfill their FILIAL or FILIAL duty. Because the heart wants, not make love. It so happens that the fate is not given close reverent relationship with the parents. No need to strive, it is not the goal of human life. Look for love in another place, God, for example, he is also our Father! To obey them. If you have grown up and live an independent life, is entitled to make their own decisions, build their lives on their own. To choose a spouse, work, religion, child rearing practices, and so on. You can consult with parents, but are not obliged to follow these tips. If parents insist, trying to manipulate or push, it is better to humbly say that you are not able to follow this advice, but not to argue and not try to convince them otherwise. As practice shows – it’s useless! And you can just agree and do it your way! If your heart is already there is acceptance, gratitude and respect, it will not be too difficult for you. To give them all the time . attention and effort, to fill the void in their lives . You also should not. Moreover – it is dangerous to the survival of your kind. In the family system there are certain principles and laws. So, the elders give the younger, and the younger senior and do not return to give further younger. I.e. parents give to children, children to their children and so on. Thus, the family continues to live, the river does not stop. So try more time and energy to give to your spouse and children, and taking care of parents can be charged assistants (caregivers). You can, of course, look after them, if it does not take you have a spouse and kids! The main thing is to place the right priorities! Worship . To worship only one Lord God to anyone else, this is the relevant commandments. A single person cannot be put in the center of your life, it is not useful to you or that person. Same applies to parents.

In the end I want to share the exercises on the theme of acceptance and forgiveness of parents.

Technique from Rami Blekt:

Every day write: “Sweetie mommy(daddy)! Please forgive me, for everything, and I forgive you. I wish you divine love and happiness!”

We need to write 10 times with the left hand because it is associated with the subconscious. For mom to begin practice on Monday, for dad on Sunday.

When written, you need to read the writing, and 10 times to worship the pictures of the parent. They say that this is a very effective technique. When you try to write about it.

A letter of insults from Olga Valeevoi:

To retire for an hour or more. Take a sheet of paper and write all your emotions in relation to the parent in the following order:

Dear dad (mom)

I’m mad at you for what you…

I resent you for what you…

I was very hurt when you…

I am very scared of what…

I was disappointed that…

I’m sad that that…

I’m sorry…

I’m grateful for that…

I apologize to you for what…

I love you.

It is important to live every feeling, to write everything that comes to mind and can be as ridiculous and stupid. Cry, if you haven’t forgotten how. If the exercise is performed correctly, then at the end there is a sense of love, acceptance and gratitude to my parents.

I wrote them several times. I really liked it, so sharing with you. But if the relationship is very heavy, it is likely this will not be enough. And it is better to seek help from a professional psychologist. Very good with family themes help arrangement by Bert Hellinger. I did and was very pleased with the result. The main thing is to find a good specialist.

What about your parents? Are you in good relationship? If you have the experience of forgiveness and acceptance, share in the comments.

 

 

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