You are expecting a baby
You took the first step in the approximation to the semantic concept of “seven I”.
But just at this moment the family and can start to crumble, because the birth of a child is not only joy, but also great stress.
Quiet good life of the spouses becomes a small nightmare of sleepless nights, worries about the baby, Laundry, cooking. With bruises under my eyes from chronic sleep deprivation and chronic fatigue has been rolled up mother impatiently met returning to work the same, tired and apprehensive to approach her own child dad. Familiar picture?
Further more, the mother tries to go to work or becoming a freelancer, trying to make something at home, the child, of course, requires attention, and my dad watches TV and requires to reason with the child. On the horizon begins to ignite the flames of the coming scandal, if not divorce. Why is it so? How to get through this period and keep the family together?
It turns out because rarely what the family is ready for such a serious restructuring of family life which requires the appearance of the child. After all, even on the background of some General obligations (family, cooking, Laundry, shopping), each spouse could carry out their plans and easy to manage my time. With the new baby, time to myself is desperately remains, and liabilities become, one might say, inevitable.
Even women that are configured on the birth of a child 9 months and in this period of the so limit yourself and we are unprepared for total employment. What to say about the man, especially not realizing that he was already the father of the family, not just a sexual partner.
He tends not to lose its status as a free man, resists the inevitable coming of maturity and seeks any excuse to escape from home or at least to fend off orders. In the first six months, and year appear sexual problems (not before a little woman). And it turns out that the husband and wife less and less time and effort spent on communicating with each other, and more present to each other claims.
What should you do?
First, you need to be ready and not to wait for that after the baby is born at your home will be a Paradise. How should I prepare? In the literature there is a lot of humorous tips on how to prepare for the emergence of the child (include on all evening drive with the roar of the son of your friend and trying to swing a leg stroller, stir the porridge on the stove), humor everywhere will help, but it is best to agree in advance about the distribution of responsibilities. Speaking of problems and their solutions – generally a good method to maintain the marital relationship if it is not in the mode of ultrasound on the background of fragile crockery. Say the problem and then once the baby was here already, not every turn in their problems and grievances.
Secondly, you need to care about the interests of the partner and go to meet each other. My wife, for example, to care about the possibility of her husband to build at this time career, a husband that his wife needs to rest and grow, not to become an appendage of the household.
In addition, the child receives information about the lives and attitudes for their future in the environment where he lives. If he sees an intact family where the parents care about each other, and together about him, he most likely will be able to build a normal family.
Not shoulder all the housework for yourself, delegate work, and her husband, but all this in a calm manner and with a smile (even if you want to run into her husband reach out for cleaning with a broom).
Do not attempt to be torn between cooking, performing home-based work and school with your child. Charge the game with the child to her husband, look for him a couple of recommendations about the games for age appropriate (and actually men –masters spontaneous games, just that they cleverly hide it). Ask him sometime to put the baby, reading him a book or singing a lullaby (albeit consisting of two words: lull).
Tell your husband that you are done for the day, homework, anyway – almost invisible and many men the impression that you are the whole day was wonderful with the child lying on the sofa, and did not go to the doctor, cleaned, washed and redid a lot of cases, given that the child .
Try to keep the baby (of course, not in the first few months, and when the baby is stronger) for a couple of hours alone with dad (produced diapers, diapers, jars of puree).
Actively praise the Pope for any miracles manifested heroism.
Make a gift to his future daughter-in-law (not Harte eyebrows) – not repel the hunting of the younger son to help you with the housework: wash the floors, the dishes, to wash something. Any child up to 5 years perceives to 80% of all received information and what information we’ll give him during this period (for example, the fact that it is not men’s work), will, to a certain extent, depends on his attitude to the woman and to the family
If the wife, after another sleepless night begins causeless crying or screaming, remember: it’s not because of bad attitude towards you, and fatigue. Try to understand, to sympathize and to help.
Look at funny brandishing pens and Mersadie nose treasure and understand that it is not only the source of the problem, it’s an extension of you.
Recall that the most famous teachers Ushinsky, Pestalozzi, Makarenko – men. That before and at the school there were many teachers – men. And this is the correct position. In the child’s upbringing, he grew up as a whole person, must be present both male and female influence, and they are quite different.
Nobody forces you to play with a tiny child in a difficult game. Hide and seek, stories about the surrounding area on the street and at home and their comparative characteristics and reading books at night – your help and your wife will be just priceless, and her gratitude you are simply endless.
Give my wife to develop (let her go at least for a couple of hours to friends, courses)
Child – the best test of your couple on resistance to stress, as well as to effectively work together. Go through it with gloss